Stressed mum asks should she clean smelly house ‘just for the in-laws’

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A mum has sparked a debate online after asking whether or not she should make the effort to “spruce” up her home for visiting in-laws. In her post, she confessed that her house smells like urine because her four-year-old child often has accidents on the carpet, prompting the mum to wonder whether or not she should really go that extra mile to clean her home – or just let the in-laws “take them as they find them”. 

Asking for advice on Mumsnet, she wrote: “My in-laws live in a different part of the country now and are coming to stay near us for the first time next week. Sounds terrible but I’m just so pleased we don’t have enough space for them to actually stay in our house.”

“However, they will still be spending a lot of time with us in our home which is nice but do I make a special effort to clean and present the house better or should they just take us as they find us?”

Adding in some extra context, the mum explained that she and her husband both have ADHD, reports HullLive, and they’re not the “most functional” parents on the planet. “They’ve seen our house plenty of times before but they’ve never spent more than an hour tops in it”, she continued to explain.

Her worries were heightened by the fact her mother-in-law was herself a very tidy person, adding “pressure” for her to clean her home. She wrote: “We have stuff everywhere, stains on chairs, walls, floors, and grass that hasn’t been cut for weeks and weeks. 

“Clean clothes rarely find themselves in wardrobes or cupboards. Instead, they gather in piles on the landing waiting to be distributed. The kitchen units are fairly cluttered and the fridge and hob need a good clean”.

Her worries were heightened by the fact her mother-in-law was herself a very tidy person, adding “pressure” for her to clean her home. She wrote: “We have stuff everywhere, stains on chairs, walls, floors, and grass that hasn’t been cut for weeks and weeks. 

“Clean clothes rarely find themselves in wardrobes or cupboards. Instead, they gather in piles on the landing waiting to be distributed. The kitchen units are fairly cluttered and the fridge and hob need a good clean”.

On the plus side, the mum said her bathroom was always “very clean” aside from her four-year-old occasionally urinating on the carpet and the smell lingering despite “always cleaning it after”.

Begging for advice, she asked other forum users: “Would you spruce up the house for in-laws? Or just let them see it for how it really is?” Soon enough, there was a range of replies. 

Many of the users simply replied with words along the lines of “definitely spruce”, with no added explanation. Another worded their response bluntly and wrote: “Of course, you need to clean it. Same as you would for anyone visiting.”

Along the same lines, another mum advised they would do a “big clean and tidy” before the in-laws arrives, just so that they’d “feel better while they were here.” Someone else agreed, believing the family themselves would “feel better after and hopefully keep on top of it.”

One mum took a harsher approach, saying she’d feel “embarrassed”. She wrote: “I’m probably going to sound really judgey here, but that sounds disgusting. Washing not being put away, whatever. Pay a teenager a tenner to mow your lawns.”

“I’d be embarrassed. Yes, you can live how you like but there’s a huge difference between mess and clutter and FILTH”, they continued.

However, not everybody had the same opinion. Another user wrote: “I definitely wouldn’t go to any effort…it’s your home and visitors should either accept your standards or go elsewhere.”

Another said that as long as the mum ensures that the home is “hygienic, functional, and pleasant” then it should be fine. They continued: “If you have piles of clean laundry on a chair or all the toys chucked in a corner that’s fine, it’s temporary.”

Overall, most views leaned towards the house being made clean for herself and her family, not because of the visiting in-laws. Many stated the house simply seemed “unhygienic”.



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