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It didn’t come as much of a surprise when Chris Larangeira filed for divorce from Angelina Pivarnick.
After all, the marriage had been a disaster pretty much from the very beginning, and Chris and Angeliners were at each other’s throats just about every time they were on screen together.
Still, the eventual split was even messier than we could have anticipated.
Chris cited irreconcilable differences as his grounds for seeking a divorce.
But insiders say the real reason was that Angelina cheated on him.
Like, a lot.
In fact, Angelina only got caught because one of her side-pieces got mad when he found out about another side-piece.
The story goes that Angelina was hooking up with one guy for the entire two year that she was married to Chris.
This may or may not have been the resident of Old Bridge, New Jersey whom Angelina’s suspicious co-stars dubbed “Old Bridge.”
(Unless Pauly D is involved, the guidos’ nicknaming skills are not the greatest.)
Angelina then embarked on a second affair while she was in Spain filming All-Star Shore, one of like 75 Jersey Shore spinoffs set to debut before the end of the year.
Angelina apparently hit it off with a guy named Luis “Potro” Caballero, who stars on a Mexican reality show called Acapulco Shore.
“Luis is a guy that gave me some attention in Spain,” Angelina said during a confessional segment on last week’s Jersey Shore Season 5B premiere.
“I felt like a woman again.”
After her work trip to Spain, Angelina briefly returned to Jersey, where she told her surprisingly-normal sister about her new acquaintance.
Angelina revealed that Potro had invited her to visit him in Mexico, which she acknowledged was probably not a good idea.
(What with her still being married, and all.)
“But you’re probably gonna go anyway?” the sister asked.
“Do you know who I am?” Angelina replied in a surprising moment of self-awareness.
Reader, Angelina took that trip, and while she claims her time in Mexico was perfectly chaste and innocent, literally everyone with a functioning brain knows that she’s lying.
Later in the episode, Angeliners received a visit from Deena Nicole Cortese, and she revealed that she and Chris were officially no longer living together as man and wife.
“He moved out,” Angelina told her co-star.
“Because of Cancun?” Deena asked.
(For some reason, Angelina decided to share pics from her trip with her co-stars. Not the best way to keep a secret.)
The episode ended on a cliff-hanger, and it seems that Angelina will not be spilling any additional tea between now and Thursday’s installment.
“Decided to not live tweet because I’m not watching the show,” Angelina tweeted during the airing.
“I’m too hurt by a lot of things. This season is going to be hard for me mentally.”
Yeah, it might be a good idea for her to log off for a while.
After all, Angelina is still going through a divorce, and everything she tweets can be used against her.
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